Been There & Gone CD 2010 info & lyrics

BEEN THERE AND GONE new CD 12 of 14 songs recorded Aug 5 2010 at Sound Vortex Studio in Nashville TN engineer Derek Garten. Tom House & Guitar. "Jesus Christ is Born" recorded same studio 2004 background vocals Karren Pell. "Sawbones" recorded same studio 2003 shakers percussion Scott Chase. Both songs engineered by Robb Earls.
All songs written by Tom House (Tom House Songs & Octus Orbus Publishers BMI) "Carol Lee" & "When I Was Young" co-writer, Dave Isaacs; "Never Knew Why" co-writer, Olav Larsen.
The Songs:

Boatrock Boulevard.

Everyone that I know knows everything that they do
Has been left up to them and it’s the same way to you
You can pile your dreams into a passenger car
You can ride them right back to right here where you are
And the losers lay there beaten and scarred
It all came too easy they just took it too hard
And they each one will tell you they’re the last one who starred
In this re-run of Rome on Boatrock Boulevard
Now I ain’t seeking no favors I ain’t looking advice
You can get what you want all you got is your price
You can go for the throat you can hope you can pray
You can sign your own name to the end of the day
And the years they fly like the blink of an eye
You can join the parade you can watch it go by
Let it go shut it down you got nothing to guard
But the back door to Rome on Boatrock Boulevard
You go out smiling all night see how you feel the next day
It’s a who did I meet it’s a what did I say
It’s that crazy inside you walks on when it wants to
Leaves you footing the bill it’s your life you can pay
And the losers just lay there they ain’t having no fun
Anything they can think of it’s already been done
And they reach for their wallets inspiration comes cheap
When the middle of the road’s where you’re choosing to sleep
And the losers lay there beaten and scarred
It all came so easy they just took it so hard
And they each one will tell you they’re the last one that starred
In this re-run of Rome on Boatrock Boulevard
This re-run of Rome on Boatrock Boulevard


The Bone Man.

I heard the bone man I heard him howl
Out in the dark night out in the wild
It’s all been building so many years
No reason left in him to stem them tears
No way now Hear the bone man howl like some orphan child
I heard the bone man I heard him moan
I saw him trembling out there so lost and all alone
Everything he ever was everything he’s ever known
Stripped him now and gone hear him sing his sad song
And he don’t know like the wind that blows which way to go
And I read them poems that he wrote heard his song note by note\
She was everything and all he ever needed how he saw it
That sweet spell she cast ain’t no love like that can last
Unless it changes and he knew come a time it would all have to
And now he stands like time demands dreams his own hands
He wrapped that wind around him tight embraced that pain
Stood there naked in the night in a hard driving rain
And there ain’t nothing but that need nothing left to explain
That storm that rages hear the roar here on out forever more
The moon and stars some things so cold and clear he sees
It all such clarity and insanity’s his way free where he soars for all to see
Let the red wine flow and the poetry the poetry his eyes burning
Turning in on himself now so let him be
I heard the bone man I heard him howl
Out in the dark night out in the wild
It’s all been building so many years
No reason left in him to stem them tears
No way now Hear the Bone Man howl

Carol Lee.

Our intentions were the best ones but that hardly goes to explain
How the sun just went in on us left us standing in the rain
I go walking by the river and the wind calls out your name
Look around me no one behind me and time moves with me like in a dream
Carol Lee gone again coming back she don’t say when
I sit here waiting as the evening’s coming on
And all these images I find bits and pieces in my mind
All these reasons all these signs pointing nowhere
And why we do it why we cared Who we were and what we shared
Some improbable incredible moments could have meant the world
And it’s like we weren’t even there like we weren’t even there
And that darkness just keeps coming on and on and on
　
By my window light a candle and I sit there in the cold night air
Times her perfume fills the whole room and I can feel her presence everywhere
Carol Lee gone again coming back she don’t say when
I sit here waiting as the evening’s coming on
And all these images I find bits and pieces in my mind
All these reasons all these signs pointing nowhere
And why we do it why we cared who we were and what we shared
Some improbably incredible moments could have meant everything
And it’s like we weren’t even there like everything now it’s all gone
And I just sit here hanging onto all that darkness and it just goes on and on
and on… nowhere
Our intentions were the best one but that hardly goes to explain
How the sun just went in on us left us standing in the rain

From Here On Out.

And when I look on her sweet face a different time a different place
I’m a different person now and no doubt
A lost become so much so real so dark and deep it’s all I feel
And I fear it’s all I’ll feel from here on out
From here on out the road grows narrow and my step is hard to find
And that voice inside reminds me who I am and where I stand
It’s all gone from me forever everything there was never
Mine to call on to call out ever again
That connection to what always was the vector and the reason
Everything made anything make sense all we were or ever been
And it plays tricks inside my mind that past I thought I left it all behind
Like a mirror I remember some 8 millimeter movie
It was snowing Christmas morning some long ago December
From here on out I sit and wait my turn think about it all to keep it straight
From here on out the sun goes down just where it will
And spills its secrets my heart cries I am formed and fixed defined them eyes
It was her faith kept me strong and I could do no wrong
And I am not so shy nor so ashamed to say just how I feel
I think I’ll just sit here awhile lost the memory that smile
And when it’s time to get up and move on I’m sure enough I will
I’m sure enough I’ll have the strength I know I will
And when I look on her sweet face a different time a different place
I’m a different person now and no doubt
A loss become so much so real so dark and deep it’s all I feel
And I fear it’s all I’ll feel from here on out
Yes I fear it’s all I’ll feel from here on out

Hands Down Lucille.

Hands down Lucille now here’s the deal
No one has to know how’s it really feel
When Jake he died she cried and cried
Til there was nothing left of her inside
Now her mother came The preacher too
But there was nothing really they could do
Most thought they knew her well it’s true
But there’s so many ways the days our lives can lead us to
Somewhere there ain’t nothing left at all
Find our way home once we’ve fallen
So far it’s like echoes way off calling
Lucille she ain’t answering to no one from that night on
Hands down Lucille now here’s the deal
No one has to know how’s it really feel
When Jake he died she cried and cried
Til there was nothing left of her inside
Now a woman’s lips can be so soft and her touch how often
Lucille dreamed them arms around her whispers say it all so sweet
And she can’t fight it she ain’t free To be who she wants to be
And it’s all been lies and deceit so long she’s been offering him
And it’s that sin can’t call its name
Late that night he came in on them
He can‘t believe it this ain‘t right
“It’s in the Bible’s” all he could say
And words and blood ran hot then red
Twenty years like death and dying
Lucille hit him hard his head
They jumped him, beating on him pounding
Held him down and smothered him
Wrapped him tight they covered him
Blinking back hard that last tear
He was fighting struggling his way clear
He looked her right dead in the eye
Then he quit trying he just didn’t care
She was lost and swimming her eyes
Way off out there somewhere
Hands down Lucille now here’s the deal
No one has to know how’s it really feel
When Jake he died she cried and cried
Til there was nothing left of her inside
Now there’s rumors just what happened
Ain’t no way to prove a thing
They found Lucille screaming crying and laughing
No one dare imagine different
And ol’ Doc Johnson and his wife Flo
They took Lucille in and don’t you know
It’s a pity and a shame she sits so quiet and so still
All them shots and all them pills
So she don’t have to deal what’s real or ever have to feel
Nothing at all now and she probably never will
Tell the truth you go to jail Say a prayer and go to hell
And there’s a horror hers from here on out she knows too well
Hands down Lucille now here’s the deal
No one has to know how’s it really feel
When Jake he died she cried and cried
Til there was nothing left of her inside

Jesus Christ Is Born.

Jesus Christ is born
On the radio
Songs of joy hymns of praise
Christmas music’s played for days
But I can’t find it in my soul
(Jesus Christ is born…)
Now the snow swirls in my face
The streetlights sparkle their own grace
This perfect pain this melancholy
All remains inside me holy
It’s like my soul’s to silence sworn
Jesus Christ is born
Now I walk the sidewalks into the stores
Up and down the aisles looking
I don’t know what for
All the smiling happy faces
In a hurry they got places
To be and someone waiting
Christmas gifts anticipating
All the world is celebrating
Jesus Christ is born
I walk down Church Street
Watch the lights
Go out one by one o holy night
There’s a thick hushed quiet
Somehow feels right
And the cold I hold close
My step’s light
And the only sound
I hear is the clicking
Of the sleet on the street
And the snow is sticking
And I take pause stare to the sky
As the wind rips shivers through my spine
I’ve searched and searched and I can’t find
It in this old heart of mine
What they all feel and swear is real
The truth the light the word the way
Is born in Bethlehem this day
Angels we have heard on high
That’s just the wind that’s all I know
A tear drop tries to form my eye
That’s just the wind I know
La la la la la la la
Jesus Christ is born

Love Lay Softly.

Love lay softly there beside me then she died
There was nothing left for her to hold onto
Just some skeletal remains bits and pieces and it pains me
To recall all I put her through
And it was just some pride justified
What I can’t face then I must hide and she knew
In them last lonely hours before the dawn
Love lay softly there beside me but she was gone
How can someone live their whole life so afraid
Like it’s all some horrible mistake once made
Can never be forgiven forgotten or denied
And I cried and I tried to find the words to say
But no matter how I felt that need I pushed her just that hard away
Come that rush of recognition where it all become so clear
Love lay softly there beside me but there’s no way she could stay here
And I’m clinging to some romance dancing right beyond my dreams
Where the madness gives me meaning silence seems the same as screams
And there’s a world that draws the lines so precisely and defines
Who we are or ever could be on our journey from the start
That light that shines so bright so briefly in the confines of my heart
And no apologies left in me now no way to make amends
Looking myself right dead in the eyes saying ok here’s how it ends
Come a murmur through the treetops like a secret must be told
And a hint of light the edges of a day dawn grey and cold
As the shadows swirl around her face and her dark eyes brim with tears
And my heart’s a twisted fist a-pounding that balance held so perfectly all these many years
And how close were we really ever I guess I’ll never know
Love lay softly there beside me the rain is falling and that far wind I lay listening to it blow
Let her go let her go…
And I’m clinging to some romance dancing right beyond all dreams
Where the madness gives me meaning silence sounds the same as screams
And there’s a world that draws the lines so precisely it defines
Who we are or ever could be on our journey from the start
That light that shines so bright so briefly in the confines of my heart
And no apologies left in me now and no way to make amends
Looking myself right dead in the eyes saying ok here’s how it ends
…Love lay softly there beside me then she died…

Mary She's The One.　

Mary don’t want to talk about it
So I don’t talk about it
Mary don’t want to think about it
So I don’t think about it
Mary sits and stares nowhere
I take her hand but she don’t care
She’s so beyond so unaware
That Mary’s she the one
Now Mary don’t remember much
And she don’t much like being touched
Mary she don’t want to dream
So she don’t sleep and she don’t scream
Mary I tell her let it go
But she don’t blink and she don’t show
Any emotion she might know
And Mary’s she the one
Mary she’s the one she’s the center of my world
Anything and everything is what I’d do
Mary I’m feeling so left out here and abandoned
Mary how do I ever get back to you
Now Mary’s shattered little pieces
So I’m shattered little pieces
Mary’s mind tortures her taunting her and teases
She’s so little she’s so small
Close her eyes she can’t recall
Why she ever cared at all
And Mary she’s the one
Now she’s right there at the true conception
Right there at the death
Anything that’s human disappearing right before her eyes
Cause if one man can then any man is capable and able
And her whole world just can’t exist if this is how it really is
And I hold her and when I hold her
I don’t breathe and I don’t move
Like my whole life’s lost what I am
I’m a man and I can’t prove
Any difference any balance
Take a chance she’s too far gone
And Mary she don’t remember she’s the one
Now Mary she’s the one she’s the center of my world
Anything and everything is what I’d do
Mary I’m feeling so left out here and abandoned
Mary how do I ever get back to you
Mary how do I ever get back to you

Never Knew Why.

Never knew why you came back Never knew why you cried
Never knew why you bothered at all
Out there in the rain Bareheaded and plainly Lost in your own misery
　
And you couldn’t recall All the reasons you ran
That anger that finally broke free
And I never knew why No I never knew why
All that anger was directed at me
　
Like an old tin can The dreams of a man
Can be stomped on crushed and kicked to the side
And time after time when I needed you most
You disappeared Found you someplace to hide
And I never knew why Though I’d sure like to hear it
I’d sure like to hear it from you
Why it never was real It never was true
You couldn’t conceal What it meant to you
And I never knew why
No I never knew why

(The lyrics the following song differ than the ones on the CD in places. It portrays an extreme dialogue between the Devil and a healer. Inappropriate for children or radio.)

Sawbones.

Devil say to the Doctor Say Sawbones Say old Sawbones
Say Sawbones Say old Sawbones
Devil say to the Doctor Say Sawbones cure my fever
Make my spirit whole
Doctor say to the Devil Say you leave me be
Why you play with me I’m a God-fearing man
Doctor say to the Devil I’m a God-fearing man you leave me be
You lowdown son of filth and misery
Devil say to the Doctor Say Sawbones Say old Sawbones
Say Sawbones Say old Sawbones
Devil say to the Doctor Goddamn your soul from this night on (and on and on)
I’ll break your will I’ll make you feel what I feel
The desire and the doubt and the doing without
The having it all and still wanting more
That day to day the slow decay
All your dreams and your life they’re slipping away
You’re reaching in the breach that sand beneath your feet
All before be gone you swore was divine
And in that moment of weakness you will be mine
Doctor say to the Devil my faith is strong
My faith is strong in the name of the Father
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Ghost I’m strong
I’m strong I’m strong I’m strong
I’ll stand up my faith show you just how wrong you can be
You sitting down there You fucking with me
I’ll show you how wrong I’ll show you you’ll see
Devil say to the Doctor say Sawbones old Sawbones
Sawbones old Sawbones
Devil say to the Doctor alright you win I’ll concede
But that’s just right now my friend later on I’ll feed that need
To you right out of my hand I’ll tell you now you sow you understand
You’ll be sucking that shit and crud right out of my hand
Devil say to the Doctor Say Sawbones Old Sawbones
Sawbones Old Sawbones
Devil Say to the Doctor Say Sawbones cure my fever
Make my spirit whole

Some Women.

I think there are some women who should not have children
And I suppose my mother was one of them
I don’t think she was an evil person sure she tried sometimes
I just don’t think she cared all that much
She had a life her own she was young there were men
Sometimes she came home eight or nine or ten
From work stopped off at the bar for a beer or two
Sometimes it was later it’s tv and cereal hey what you gonna do
What you gonna do who you gonna blame
Seen it early enough it’s my life it’s the same
If I sit here screaming or dreaming or pissed
This or that I might have missed
Come a time it’s only me got to answer for who I am or what
And maybe I’m a little like her Gonna have to fight my way clear
Some of this confusion I’ll do better than she did and if I ever decide to have a kid
I’ll make damn sure I’ll make damn sure I really wanted that kid
I think there are moments we understand as more than the promise and the circumstance
She never had a plan and she loved to dance and every chance she took some romance
She learned it on the radio living it hard and ready to go
My mom she’s a world of fun 20 years into her cups
And my mama she don’t care if the sun comes up
And mama I appreciate what you came to give just a little late some things I’ll never understand
You just seemed so nervous all the time somehow removed talking to you sometimes like
Screaming underwater like it’s all slow motion you ain’t listening you ain’t there
And I just can’t wait cause I don’t ever feel like I fit in anywhere
And I dreamed last night I saw a tear in your eye I was all dressed up and I looked like you
My lips were pink and my eyes were blue but I just couldn’t cry I didn’t know what to do
I was locked in the mirror like a lie come true you maybe seen now what it all come down to
I looked so damn hot mama I looked just like you struck a pose I suppose now everybody knows
Everybody knows mama everybody knows
What you gonna do who you gonna blame seen it early enough it’s my life it’s the same
If I sit here screaming or dreaming or pissed this or that I might have missed
Come a time it’s only me got to answer for who or what I am
And maybe I’m a little like her Gonna have to fight my way clear
Some of this confusion I’ll do better than she did and if I ever decide to have that kid
I’ll make damn sure I’ll make damn sure I’ll make damn sure I really wanted that kid

When A Child Closes A Door.

When a child closes a door
And locks himself inside
Won’t answer anymore
What there was out there before
He sits there in the dark
He can’t hear a thing
Don’t matter to him now
He’s bent there on his knees
He can hear the angels sing
But he ain’t keeping score no more
You know it could be anything
When a child closes a door
When that child just turns away
Anything you got to say
He won’t answer anymore
It don’t matter anyway
No one listens no one hears
Close his eyes he disappears
Drifting slowly through the night
The shadows wrapped around him tight
When it all becomes too hard the pain
There’s nothing left he can explain
Or that much now truly remains
He pulls himself across the floor
And at long length with his last strength
Pulls himself up on his knees
Turns the keys and locks the door
　
So don’t bother shed no tear
It’s too late when he still cared
There was never no one here
Just the way it all went down
And you can’t take back what you never were
And I can’t change the way I am
You can’t pretend now what there never was
Like either of us gave a damn
And there’s a world out there I’m well aware
Might as well be fantasy
I live on this side of the door now
And there’s nobody here but me
Nothing for you to see
So why don’t you just leave me be
Why don’t you all just leave me be
When a child closes a door
And locks himself inside
Won’t answer anymore
All there was out there before
He sits there in the dark
He can’t hear a thing
Don’t matter to him now
He’s bent there on his knees
He can hear the angels sing
But he ain’t keeping score no more
You know it could be anything
When a child closes a door

When I Was Young.

When I was young and trusted easy
miracles were common-place
I stood toe to toe with angels
sang their praises felt their grace
All along the roads I traveled
Such delights my eyes did see
All them mysteries unraveled
Laid it out there clear for me
All that was and meant to be
Come a time full of wonder
Take me to the other side
Hold my hand I’m going under
I bow my head I will abide
My faith and feelings and my pride
I had miles yet and dreams I would
Not let them be denied
When I was young the air was clear
The water clean my throat sang pure
I walked the mountains and the prairies
That high wind and the holy ghost
Forever and I will endure
I made my way them long hot days
Sat there shivering through the night
Searching for some higher purpose
Waiting on that one true light
Sing me now some sweet salvation
I need something I can’t find
I need something I can keep
Something true I can hold onto
Remind me all them things I knew
I stood there staring myths and shadows
I fell to my knees I don’t know why
Or how much any of this really matters
I got no home no destination
Waiting me when I get there
Come a time all reason fails
And gospels all like fairy tales
Simple truths might have been
Never mine to hold again
When I was young and trusted easy
Miracles were common place
I stood toe to toe with angels
Sang their praises felt their grace
　　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

JESUS DOESN"T LIVE HERE ANYMORE: Song Lyrics

JESUS DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE LYRICS
　
　
Making My Peace.

I ain’t no cold turkey
On a hot hot date
Things are bound to get better
Me I’m willing to wait
My turn and I’m willing
To let it all ride
On a little shot of something
Keep me satisfied

Chorus: And I’m tying up my britches
Got my big boots on
Moon’s on the rise
Got a brand new song
Called feeling at ease
Getting along
Called making my peace
Before I’m too far gone

Now I had me a woman
She was good for the show
Kept everybody guessing
Took her years to go
And I don’t mind saying
I’m a happy man
And I can mean it ‘bout as much
As anybody else can

Chorus:

Now it’s a big bad world
And a pitiful shame
I can’t find nobody
But myself to blame
Now I’m stating my case
Taking my place
At the head of the line
Getting out of this race

Chorus:
　
　
Child Of God.

He’s a child of God
No more no less
And I can’t tell you why he took it
Where he did but if pressed
I’d have to say
There was something missing something wrong
Something deep down inside him
And he knew it all along

Now there were signs some say
Looking back today
He ran these hills alone
His parents gone
One dead one beat down
He answered to no one
His the driest eyes in town
But that don’t measure how he sees it all
When there’s no one else around
And that moon shines
Tiny corners he finds them
And the wind blowing circles
In and out his mind
Is that him crying
Outside some window silhouette
It’s blood and noise and
His heart’s poison from the start

First Verse Repeats:

Now there’s nothing moving
In that dark deserted night
He lays face down in the weeds
And his eyes clinched tight
And his ears hear all everything
The shadows call he hears them sing
Converging right here
Urging him and his fears
They carry him along

And they found her down
In a culvert bound
She was beaten she was bruised
She was dead and he had used her
And even the strongest
Had to turn their face away
Their stomachs buckle
Things unthinkable
Too horrible to say

And the good sheriff smiled
As he jerked that chain
And the newspapers and photographers
They described and glorified it
All so well in such detail
He can’t explain it or remain
It just means nothing to him now

He’s a child of God
Tell me what that means
All the empty and the angry
Left out in between encompassing
All I ever was or been
Nothing in the eyes of God
Nothing in the eyes of men

Repeat First Verse:
　

Dark Night Of The Soul.

Come a crippled time a man
Lose the purpose in his way
What’s the reason left to go on
What's the reason left to stay
What’s the reason you suppose he asks
In hanging on ain’t nothing lasts
Nothing now left to me
Of who I was ain’t charity

As he pours another round
It’s so easy going down
And his logic starts to swim
As it slips away from him
In the fire and fury of his hate
His judge and jury just can’t ait
The verdict’s in guilty as sin
Returned and turned and turned again

And there’s a dark night of the soul
Just beyond a man’s control
Where he’s staring scared and trying so hard
Not to let it show
And he’s talking grace of God
He’s talking free at last
He’s talking nowhere to go in this world
He’s talking nowhere to go

Now he’s staring out the door
As the rain starts to pour
And the light’s have all grown dim
One by one ‘til it’s just him
In this dark deserted place
Staring at the haunted face
A reflection in the glass
All that never came to be

And there ain’t no mama ain’t no papa
Ain’t no family or friends
Just the cold edge of the morning
Slowly twisting in the wind
And he’s talking grace of God
He’s talking free at last
He’s talking nowhere too go in this world
He’s talking nowhere to go


Isadora’s Dancing Tonight.

And the lights twirl and twist
‘Round her swirling her fist
Is held high in the air
Clinched in the light
And her hair’s cold and red
Swirling curls ‘round her head
Isadora’s dancing tonight

And the orchestra plays
And the orchestra rests
And the young men in tails
Attend to her needs
This one here’s so polite
This one here idolizes
The ground that she walks on
And she just despises

The music that holds her
So tightly and owns her
‘Til she’s out on the floor
Can forget all the rest
All the ordinary needs
As the world breathes and bleeds
She can soar she wants more
Wants them all on their knees

And the lights twirl and twist
‘Round her swirling her fist
Is held high in the air
Clinched in the light
And her hair’s cold and red
Swirling curls round her head
Isadora’s dancing tonight
Isadora’s dancing tonight　　
　

Papa’s Dancing With His Daughter.

There’s a high step and a low step
And a stepping in-between
How he told it to Tom Potter
‘bout that incident last week
There ain’t hardly nothing to it
I’ll get back to you about it
Don’t you worry Buddy
We can work it out
It’ll be alright

And she’s laughing and she’s pushing him
And telling him to go
On out there on the dance floor
She can’t hardly hold her grin in
He’s just like he’s always been
Going on and on some nothing
Don’t half matter way he does
He always has it’s the way he is

Chorus: Papa’s dancing with his daughter
Up and down the doissy-do
To your left to your right
To your partner bowing low
Then he’ll take her in his arms
And he’ll twirl her ‘round real slow
Then hand in hand they’ll promenade on home

And that fiddle make a screech
And a man will make a speech
About the graduation Friday
And the summer coming on
It all just seems like yesterday
Yeh but that’s what they all say
It’s true too soon you’re wondering
Just where it’s all gone

He remembers she was younger
She was sitting on his knee
He was bouncing her hugging her
He told himself earlier
He ain’t going to do this she’s been
His heart’s one full pride and joy
But them tears are welling up inside him
Now oh boy

Chorus:

And she puts her hand in his
And she whispers in his ear
Some old silly secret endearment
He used to whisper it to her
As he tucked her in her bed
It all runs together in his head
She’s smiling blushing so full
All her dreams tonight

And the room seems to freeze
There’s a weakness in his knees
As he’s looking all around
Feelings coming into play
‘Cause there’ll come a time he knows
When he’ll have to let her go
When he’ll have to stand
And watch her dance away

Chorus:


Daddy’s Dark Eyes.

Daddy’s dark eyes look away
Searching them shadows no one else can see
And when he comes home to me what can I say
Well that’s between daddy and me

Sometimes the light how it falls
Brings it back like a crack through a wall
A particular sound the wind wraps around
Pull it close to the heart no one else miles around

And I drift in and out I can’t sleep
I can’t fight off these feelings that keep me
A child in my mind in a panic can’t find
Any reason this darkness reaching out and I’m dying and

Repeat First Verse:

And I’m waking haunted some heartbeat gone crazy
Blood burning hot in my brain I can’t tell
It’s that whiskey his breath that reminds me of death
I can feel his rough touch like I’m rushing through hell
I remember so much I remember so well
What I felt how I’m held I can never escape
I can never forgive what was nothing but hate
As night after night I’d just lay there and wait
Know he’s coming soon he’s coming soon

Do you understand what I’m asking you
Do you understand what I’m needing from you
Just some kind of answer I can take it as true
Tell me what did I ever really mean to you
Just what was I ever to you…

Repeat First Verse:


Picking Up And Going.

Ain’t no cause ain’t no cure
We could talk about it sure
But I don’t believe we could change a thing
It’s been coming on too long
Now it’s gotten way too strong
For the answers evening can bring

In the stillborn crackling of a cold dark night
For awhile I thought I had it
For awhile you know I might have
But I let it get right by me I let it slip away
Seems there’s some things I don’t need to know
Some things that I can’t say
And I guess I’ve really always been that way

Chorus: And there’s no way I’ll be believing
There’s any other way of knowing
And the only thing left to leaving now
Is the picking up and going

We don’t need no doctor here
Take a knife to cut a tear
Take more than me or you ever had before
And it hurts to know you mean it
When you’re saying that you seen it all
And that there ain’t no looking anymore

You’ve got seasons and silences sounds of your own
And yes I guess I really always known
That a moment ain’t forever
You and I were never made
Just to sit there like we had to
Like we were getting paid
Like a bad hand of cards
That we played

Chorus:


Everything Changes.

I drove back to Norfolk fully intending
To tell her my mind I was tired of pretending
Something I never was or ever could be
I was sick of that way she kept looking at me
She’s pregnant and pissed and telling me why
She’s drinking beer and smoking said she couldn’t stop
I was never really sure she said I was the father
She could have been lying so I didn’t bother

Chorus: People fall into patterns of deceit
Life’s like an accident waiting to happen
A package tied up with ribbons so neat
I don’t think so the crowd’s stomping and clapping
Now everyone needs everyone uses
Everything changes everyone chooses
And everything comes to a head
Everything comes to a head

Now Brent he’s back from the navy or jail
Or somewhere sometimes it’s hard to tell
She’s leaning up against him talking ‘bout back when
They was hot for each other it could be that way again
She’s all up in his ear making it clear
They’re shooting the whiskey chasing it beer
I love him she shouts out I never did love you
I tell her hell that’s what I been waiting to hear

Chorus:

And the band starts the second or the third set I forget
An old friend comes in we go out blow a number
Later on the band’s cranking she’s all over the place
Way she always was up in my face
And goddamn this old world and the way that it is
The music’s just ugly and pounding and loud
She wants to know why it turned out this way
But I don’t know so I don’t say

And she’s out there dancing so alone and above
Them all she don’t care she’s so crazy and wild
Way she was I first met her I think that’s what I used to love
She was younger and free and had her own style
Now Brent’s back from the dead a thick tongue in his head
I’m gonna kick your ass he slips as he slurs
Like you really could I’m thinking laughing to myself
Cause tonight he ain’t my problem he’s hers

And I swallow a bottle burns all the way down
Got a rage needs a stage but what would it matter
Nothing at all I know that now
Throw that bottle just past his head
Against the wall to hear it shatter

Chorus
　

Jesus Didn’t Die.

And I never said a word to stop him never raised a hand
He’s going off all half-cocked and you’ve got to understand
How people around here feel about that sort of thing
And I sure didn’t want them thinking nothing crazy about me

Now it was all in his head Jimmy talked him into leaving
With the two of us acting like we’s maybe interested
Got him in the truck down the road he started laughing
How you bought a line of shit boy now we’re gonna fuck you up

Hard come a big right fist hard come another
Got a good grip on a baseball bat a free easy swing
Hate was in the air and blood was everywhere
Hell I thought he had some money we was gonna rob him maybe
But Jimmy he ain’t stopping you can see it from a distance
And he ain’t standing no further than from there to here

Chorus: He said Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you
Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you
So shut up and take what’s coming to you
And you’re gonna have to do your own suffering too
Cause Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you

Now Jimmy tied another rope around his neck we left him there
Barely breathing beyond begging a long time ago
Got back in the truck and the wind was picking up
Jimmy’s beating on my dashboard and it’s starting to snow

And we barely a said a word all the way back into town
Jimmy’s breathing crazy snorting hyper-ventilating rushing
Goddamn we showed him didn’t we and he’s laughing and he’s slamming
His fist into my dash again and I wish he’d stop that too

And I don’t know what I’m feeling but it don’t feel right
Jimmy’s talking ‘bout another queer in hell tonight
And I’ve known him all my life and I thought we’s just alike
But I seen something in his eyes tonight something I ain’t never seen
Something empty just like nothing become something sick and mean

And I ain’t saying I’m no angel no I’ve danced my devils too
But I been to that church with mama and you know some of that stuff sticks
And the thought kind of hit me blind and I can’t rightly follow through
But I know what I should have done and what I didn’t do
And I can’t get it out of my mind so maybe I’ll ask you
Can a man be a Christian and a coward too
　
Cause I never said a word to stop him never raised a hand
He’s going off all crazy and you got to understand
How people around here feel about a queer
And I sure wouldn’t want them thinking nothing crazy about me
No I wouldn’t want them thinking nothing at all about me

Chorus: Cause Jesus didn’t die for Faggots like you
Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you
So shut up and take what’s coming to you
And you’re gonna have to do your own suffering too
Cause Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you
My Jesus didn’t die my Jesus didn’t die
My Jesus didn’t die for faggots like you
　　

Toss Your Partner.

If anything is as true
As any other thing to you
Then tell me why you think I’m
Gonna swear by that tear in your eye

Cause I seen it coming it’s been there before
And my pride’s a long time out the door
And I’d give what I got not to still be here
Just shooting the breeze drinking the beer

Waitress leaning on a one-way ticket
Check her face in the window pane
Icy moon on a binge tonight
And no one can explain

Why it took so long just to go so wrong
You don’t get to hide behind your first last name
And the you I knew is a longtime gone
And I figure you could say the same about me
If you wanted you could say the same

Chorus: And hands are reaching under tables in the candlelight
Words are tossed like ashes to the ground
Fingers are dancing to another tune now
Toss your partner around Toss your partner around

If everyone is as free
As you and I are supposed to be
Then tell me why the changing guard
Just stand around and stare so hard

Like they know something maybe I ought to know
Hell I seen it coming hate to see it go
But there ain’t no looking when there ain’t no more
Reasons to be looking for

Waitress gonna give us one last call
And we’re face to face and we’re facing a wall
And it’s too late now to wonder how it’ll feel
Cause when the lights come up you’ve got to settle the bill
That’s right we got to settle the bill

Chorus:


Love Be Gentle.

Chorus: Love be gentle Love be kind
Love be yours and love be mine
Love be more than we’re looking for
And don’t get left behind
Don’t leave your love behind

I called a number I called a name
Took a chance and I fanned a flame
I found myself where I sometime hid
But I weren’t feeling as free as I one time did
And she said…

Chorus:

I stared beyond the campfire’s glow
Where the darkness starts where the shadows grow
And I never raised my eyes to see
That the stars a-shining they were shining on me
And she said…

Chorus:

She moved toward me in the night
My eyes lost sight my mind took flight
She took my hand then she took me in
And the blood was tingling all in my skin
When she said…

Chorus